Tick Tock...

Tick Tock...

I am not a patient person.  I wish I were. In my next life I will resolve to become one.  But right now it's not happening and it's not going to.  

My "adventure" through the breast cancer experience began on November 1 with my annual mammogram.  It took a dark turn the following week with the call-back mammogram followed by an ultrasound and the chilling pronouncement that I needed a biopsy of two areas on my left breast.  It would have to wait until after Thanksgiving. OK. I waited and managed to tuck away the negative "what ifs" for a couple of weeks.  No sense worrying about something until it is a reality and I am, by nature, a "jelly side up" kind of person. The toast can land either way and it has a 50% chance of not splattering on the floor.  The biopsy took place on December 3 and I awaited the results which arrived by phone on December 6 in a late afternoon call.  Not what we hoped for...two malignancies...but both Stage 1 and Grade 1.  Bad news/Good news.  Next came the meeting with the surgeon on Friday December 13.  Dr. Teller was upbeat...this is totally curable but will require surgery, followed by radiation and a hormone suppressant.  Good news.  But she wanted an MRI to get better definition of the tumors and investigate any other possible areas.  OK, I'm down with that.  MRI took place the following Thursday, the 19th.  We were really moving along with this at breakneck speed, just what I would have hoped for.  

THEN...here came the holidays, essentially a two week period  where traditionally all workplaces come to a standstill.  Dr. Teller decided that a second ultrasound was necessary to check out some snarky looking areas on the right breast and left armpit that showed on the MRI.  It was scheduled for January 2 so we were back in the trenches...or not.  Monday the 30th I got a call that they needed to give my spot to a woman who needed an immediate biopsy so I was bumped to Monday, January 6th.  I had managed to once again tuck this ordeal away for the holidays, determined to enjoy my grandson's first Christmas but that call rocketed it back onto my psychic radar and re-ignited my anxiety.  I had the ultrasound on the 6th which showed no additional sites (good news) but now I am awaiting the big Kahuna...the call with the surgery date. This is the culmination of the last two months and the waiting is starting to get to me. Every time the phone rings my anticipation soars...and then it turns out to be a telemarketer who I would strangle for a dime if I could.  ARRRGH!

And then we have the insurance morass...  The bills have begun arriving.  We have an excellent health care plan but this experience has taught me to be very vigilant. Last week I received a bill for a denied claim that amounted to over $1000 for some pathology after my biopsy.  Fortunately I questioned it and it turned out to be a mis-coded claim so I was told to "ignore it".  How many people would have just gone ahead and paid that, despite the error?  We need to fix our health insurance system and SOON! The wheels have fallen off that bus and it's dragging its sorry ass down a very expensive and disastrous highway!  

Lest I sound like Wendy Whiner, let me articulate some of the many blessings I do count in the face of this surreal experience:

* My husband, Brendan, who despite his severe aversion to ANYTHING medical has been by my side from the instant we realized what I would be facing.  This is a man who nearly fainted when the orthopedist showed the MRI of my knee three years ago, pointing out the damage a fall had done.  He doesn't handle medical trauma well, yet has been my rock through every illness and injury.  He's a keeper, for sure!

* Friends and family who have gone above and beyond in their support and comfort.  The calls, emails, cards, and gifts have kept my spirits up more than you'll ever know.  So many of you have shared your personal experiences with breast cancer, giving me renewed hope that I can put this whole thing in my rearview mirror, hopefully very soon.  I love you all for being there for me.

* A medical team that not only has the expertise to knock this thing on its butt but also the care and compassion to nurture  my spirit and allay my anxieties along the way.

So, it's time to buck up and take a patience pill. The surgery call will come.  And then the process will take its course, I will follow up the surgery with three weeks of radiation one month later and then, with God's grace, I can declare myself cancer-free!  

And remember, Gals,  schedule those mammograms!  They save lives!!!