I've fallen off the blogging train lately, mostly because, like most of the world, there hasn't been much to say. The days all run together and if it weren't for weekly landmarks like trash pickup day, laundry day, my Sunday New York Times delivery and Brendan's predictable cycle of dinner menus through the week I would have absolutely no idea what day it is.
There was a "memorable" moment this past week: my tele-conference with my oncologist, Dr. Inhorn, regarding my Estrogren Inhibitor medication. In mid-April my first medication, Anastrozole, threw a set of side effects at me that knocked me sideways to Sunday and made it impossible to continue with that plan. It took weeks to get the effects out of my system which meant waiting over a month to discuss plan B, an alternative medication.
In the interim, Dr. Inhorn scheduled a bone density test, a measurement of bone loss common in post-menopausal women. My results were not good. I had lost significant bone mass in my hip and back since my previous test, five years ago. This was going to complicate matters since the estrogen inhibitors that are traditionally prescribed to post-menopausal women can have a negative effect on bone density, and, in my case would mean an additional medication such as Fosamax which carries its own boatload of side effects. Not what I was looking for. I've been on that bus trip and it's not fun.
First let me say how totally weird it was to "tele-conference" with my doctor instead of meeting face-to-face, just another one of those "new normal" experiences we are all encountering daily. He agreed and professed to be a bit technologically challenged, a fact he quickly validated by accidentally hitting a wrong key on the keyboard and sending me into cyberspace. Fortunately, his young(er) assistant was able to retrieve me and we continued "zooming".
I questioned why I needed to be taking any additional medication since my surgery had been successful, my Oncotype DX score indicated that I did not need chemo and the radiation had gone smoothly. He explained that cancer cells can be sneaky little bastards (my words, not his) and if even one cell had gone "rogue" somewhere else in my body, all it would need is some estrogen to bond to and it would be a whole new ballgame wherever that cell decided to wreak havoc. So the answer is to stop the estrogen and keep it at bay. Okay, I get it.
His suggestion was that I go with an old-school breast cancer treatment, Tamoxifen, an estrogren inhibitor typically given to pre-menopausal women. It doesn't have any effect on bone density so no Fosamax (or the like) would be needed. It does carry a "slight" risk of blood clots and and even "slighter" risk of uterine cancer in post-menopausal women. Gee, that's great...but, on balance, it is probably better than dealing with the other issues. Oh, but wait..Tamoxifen can also have side effects: hot flashes, mood swings, nausea, fatigue. I may get to go through menopause AGAIN! But I am being optimistic and hoping I can dodge that bullet. It has been a week...so far so good. One week down, three years, eleven months and three weeks to go. I can do this!
Meanwhile back in the world of quarantine, social-distancing and mask-wearing, things continue one day at a time. Spring has made it to Maine. Our favorite crab-apple tree is in full bloom along with our azalea.
We planted our vegetable garden and locked it up behind fencing to discourage the squirrels who have viewed it as their own all-you-can-eat buffet in years past.
The hummingbirds have returned to bicker over the four feeders we have put out for them. The yard is full of goldfinches, chickadees, woodpeckers, cardinals, catbirds, robins and bluejays. And this year, as an added treat, a family of baby chipmunks has emerged from under our garage to scamper and tumble on the lawn every morning, entertaining us as we enjoy our breakfast. The days are bright and long. I can take walks around the neighborhood and spy on gardens in progress. And some of the ice cream stands have opened, making those neighborhood walks even more worthwhile.
Who knows what the next few months will bring and it is probably useless to try and predict. We just need to ride the roller coaster, behave ourselves and say a prayer that some kind of long term plan will emerge. My heart aches to see my precious baby grandson and his parents but FaceTime will have to be the closest I can get to them for the time being. Time spent lingering over coffee, lunch or a beer with good friends will have to wait but someday it will be possible again and won't we all enjoy it, along with hearty hugs all around!!
Stay healthy, patient and safe, my friends. And don't worry about what day it is. It doesn't really matter in the long run.
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