We cautiously poke our collective heads out the door, masks in a back pocket just in case. The sensation of being around other peoples feels strange and, at first, a bit unnerving. With the invisible strength of our vaccine shots we finally dare to do what a few months ago would have been unthinkable: hug our friends and family, plan visits to places both new and familiar, attend get-togethers in celebration and in memoriam and most importantly, learn to live together again.
There is no doubt that the last fifteen months have changed us both individually and as a society. The common experience of coming through a world-wide pandemic has left scars but it has also taught us contrasting lessons of resilience and fragility. We are not indestructible as a species. But we can harness the tools of science, technology and individual strength, patience and innovation to prevail. We need to embrace the lessons and affirmations of the experience, never losing sight of the high price we paid for them. It truly has been a seismic event in history.
I, for one, can attest to some of the residual effects. I still feel a sense of agoraphobia in a crowded environment. Many other people seem uncomfortable being in public spaces. We all seem to be mourning the many lives lost, the connections disrupted, the families split apart. There is a residual anxiety and, at times, a toxicity clearly evident in society. Rage and tempers flare at the smallest provocation and I have noticed the continuation and even escalation of "it's all about me" episodes. It's almost as if people feel a sense of entitlement to that attitude because of the events of the past year. Perhaps we need to relearn how to get along together, understandable maybe because we are out of practice. Hopefully, with time, we can regain the civility and empathy the pandemic stole from us.
We each have our own take-aways from the past fifteen months. As an extrovert, I keenly felt the lack of social contact and a busy calendar of activities. But I rediscovered the joy of reading, even venturing into a new genre for me: Murder Mysteries. Thanks to Louise Penny, Julia Spencer-Fleming, Tana French, Elizabeth George and others, I super-sleuthed my way through the Pandemic. And, of course there was my knitting to keep my hands and mind busy. I dug into my stash and produced socks, mittens, sweaters, hats, toys, cowls, afghan squares, shawls, and booties. And I still have a stash big enough for four lifetimes of knitting! I have posted some pictures of my finished products below. Then there was the garden! With unlimited amount of time to devote to it, it thrived last summer in ways I never could have imagined.
The inability to visit with my baby grandson tore at my heart throughout the quarantine. Liam was born in August 2019 and was just asserting his quirky personality when our visits were curtailed. I last saw him in March 2020 when we visited before I started radiation treatments for breast cancer and just before the Covid-19 door shut. We managed an outdoor picnic in August just before his first birthday at an orchard halfway between our homes in Maine and Massachusetts, complete with masks and distancing. In October we met for a picnic in York ME, again about halfway between our homes and again with masks and distancing. My urge to cuddle and smooch that little munchkin had to be stifled. Our first post-vaccine visit was in late April of this year and I savored every minute with that little squirmy-worm in my arms. FaceTime was a huge help, ensuring that Brendan and I were not complete strangers. And I confess to making sure a few surprise packages found their way to him.
Fifteen months of near 24/7 companionship with Brendan was another unique experience and a bit challenging at times. He also has become an avid reader and we are both so grateful for our local library which early-on designed a convenient on-line order system with curbside pickup, initially by appointment. He also threw himself whole-heartedly into jigsaw puzzles, ordering on line in bulk. Over the past fifteen months he completed (or attempted) dozens of puzzles, even investing in a sophisticated puzzle carrier so our dining room and kitchen tables could remain free. We devised a "hands-free" giveaway process using Facebook posts and offering pick up out of a cooler in our driveway when the "used" puzzles threatened to overrun the house. We are opposites in so many ways but we have learned to respect our differences, giving each other space as needed and enjoying shared time doing things we both enjoy. When the walls closed in (for me) we took a number of car rides just to provide some new scenery as needed. Our 45th Wedding anniversary is later this month and we will jubilantly celebrate with a long-awaited trip to one of our favorite inns. We always have much to celebrate but coming through the pandemic healthy and together is near the top of the list. We will also belatedly celebrate my successful breast cancer treatment, now 15 months in the rearview mirror!
Technology helped us through the experience in so many ways. Like many others, I became a ZOOM-er, by necessity. Doctor's appointments, book club meetings, even knitting groups were held in front of the computer. My funniest experience came early on with my first oncologist appointment in May. My doctor (name withheld to prevent embarrassment) is a gifted physician in his field but, being of my generation, has had to adjust reluctantly to modern technology. He confessed early in the call that the technology was a little baffling to him and, sure enough, as he attempted to adjust volume, completely lost the connection. I next saw him sitting sheepishly nearby as a young office assistant reconnected to me and kindly but firmly admonished him "not to touch anything." He was mortified until I assured him that I had done the same thing on my first ZOOM call. We agreed that some of the technology had clearly passed us by! With time, we both became a little more techno-savvy...as long as we weren't asked to deviate from the original instructions!
The Pandemic was a lonely time for so many, especially those living alone. Early on, we "adopted" an elderly neighbor who has lived alone for a number of years. Brendan picked up groceries for her since she was terrified of venturing out. I sewed her a few face masks to use when anyone came to the door and we always cooked a little extra each dinner time to bring to Madeleine. Our visits were short...masked and distanced...but gave us a chance to see how she was doing and gave her a chance to talk to someone in person. We have continued the relationship even though we are now all vaccinated. She's an amazing person with a colorful and diverse background which we enjoy hearing about. It's so nice to be able to sit down with her, unmasked and hear about her interesting life.
One thing I won't miss is the machinations that went into every encounter that we used to handle effortlessly. Doctor's visits, Vet appointments, Dental cleanings, Dog Grooming, house repairs, Doggie Day Care, house deliveries...all so convoluted in their planning that we dreaded having to deal with them. One of the worst was a mattress delivery on a hot sultry day last summer. We had ordered a new guest bed mattress from the same company we had ordered our master bedroom mattress the year before. In that case, they delivered the mattress, brought it upstairs, installed it on the bed and removed our old mattress. Easy Peasy. Covid-19 threw a major monkey wrench in the works. We were told they could not bring it in the house. We would have to do that ourselves. AND bring it up the stairs to the guest room. So, we wrestled the old mattress down the stairs and out the front door to await delivery (and, presumably, removal of the old one). The scheduler neglected to tell us that not only would they not bring up the new mattress, but they were not allowed to take the old one. So the delivery truck took off, leaving us with two heavy double bed mattresses on our front lawn...one old, one new. We looked at each other, already feeling our backs begin to stiffen up, and somehow managed to get the new one up the stairs VERY slowly and onto the guest room bed. That still left a mattress lying on our front lawn, not an attractive look. After a brief rest, we dragged it around the back to the garage where it remained until it left in a load of yard waste, broken furniture, a dilapidated dog house, miles of old garden hose, and various and sundry other junk, courtesy of "The Dump Guy"...money very well spent. Another Covid-19 adventure!
So, while we aren't out of the woods yet...the infection numbers are not at zero...I tend to feel as if we have seen the worst of it. The vaccine has been nothing short of miraculous. As a side note, my daughter Meredith has just begun a new job in Cambridge MA working as a Senior Scientist for Moderna so I have full confidence that our future is in the best of hands, regardless of surges and variants. We need to remain vigilant and maintain the protocols recommended by scientists. But I am hopeful that the future is promising.
I don't think there are enough ways to say thank you to the people who helped us through this horrible event. So many courageous individuals put their own lives on the line to help combat the horrific effects of this pandemic. They include First Responders, Medical Personnel, Public Health Officials plus the many people who faced danger in their jobs just by being exposed to the public: retail workers, technicians, educators, care-givers and so many others who did not have the luxury of staying home to ride this thing out. So many paid the ultimate price and my thoughts and prayers go out to their loved ones. The millions of deaths worldwide are a testament to the vulnerability of the human race, even as its ingenuity has proved critical to our survival.
So let's welcome the return of the light, the joy of gathering together, the freedom to live our lives the way we want. But let's never forget the ones who aren't with us to share the joy.
